I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
