yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
