What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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