You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
