no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
