my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
