3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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