I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
