Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
