Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
