Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're so nebulous sometimes
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
