Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
