she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
