puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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