Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
