ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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