I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
