dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
