fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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