It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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