fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
only if we run a train.
done.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
