Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
