I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
