So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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