I wanna bring you to show and tell
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
