I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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