what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
COCAINE IS GR8
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
