Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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