my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
