I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
