Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
