Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
