Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
