I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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