Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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