I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
