you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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