why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Randomize
