OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
