Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
