Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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