Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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