Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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