Fuck appropriateness.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
