Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
