hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
