At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
