i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
