Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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