Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
