the condom got lost in my hair
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
