I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
