I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
