Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
