when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
